As with spirituality, art sometimes gives us comfort and peace. Other times, we’re being challenged and it ain’t comfortable. The Sankofa House does that too, nudging us to, as Toni Morrison said best, “claim ownership of our free selves,” slow down and listen to ourselves; and honor what was here first.

Trelani Michelle: In wanting this edition to be about a healer, I thought of you. Where you from?

Kamilah Kamaat: I was born in Savannah. Raised in Guyton.

TM: Tell me about Kamilah as a child. What made her happy?

KK: Playful, adventurous. I've always loved community, loved playing with my friends at the park. I loved being at Feed a Kid1 in the summertime. We would be deep. Clyo, Springfield, every surrounding area came to Guyton to Highland Park. We had the boys and the girls, the basketball court, the swings, the merry-go-round, the slide. And we had food. We would be in a corner playing all the handgames — down, down, baby. Being outside made me happy, playing with my friends, being in nature, barefoot climbing trees, hanging up my grandmama clothes on the line, popping peas under the carport, going out in the garden and getting vegetables that my grandparents grew, watching my grandfather make cane syrup. All those little things made me happy.

TM: When you grew up did you want to keep living the country life?

KK: Nope! There was a time I didn't want to be outside because I ain't like bugs or sweating, but I was operating in the opposite of myself. It just went to show how uncomfortable I was with myself. I’d traded in nature for the clubs, the city life, the look of things. I was Miss Honey, the party girl, the show girl, the model, the sexy girl.

TM: Did you grow up religious?

KK: Yes. I grew up in Holiness Church with my adopted mother. I loved church.

TM: What you loved about church?

KK: I loved the music. I loved the spirit, the movement, the messages, the fellowship of it, the power of it, the out-of-body experience of it. That was like a highlight for me in my childhood, was having that foundation.

TM: Describe Holiness.

KK: Holiness don't have no boundaries when it comes to Spirit and to praise. It's loud. It's all over the place. It's unorganized. You know, it's just full of praise. The music is orchestrated by the movement of the spirit and the movement of the people rather than the program of it. It was free. So you see people shouting, falling out, speaking in tongues, foaming out the mouth. Speaking in tongues, that never happened when I was at church. It came later in life, but I wanted it. In later years, I did not really witness [the church] strong like that. It's a little dead. I feel like, at some point, I'ma be called back to amplify the spirit in there again. I see it in my dreams all the time. And you got to go back. What's Sankofa2 if you don't go back?

TM: That's so African, so indigenous, letting spirit lead the way. But then also, I know as a woman in the Holiness faith, we wasn't 'bout to see your knees. When you went to that pool, you wasn't wearing a bathing suit. Was that restricting?

KK: The generation before us, like my mother, my grandmothers, my aunts... still to this day, you won't catch them with no pants on. Everything gon be below the knee. They gon have on they knee-highs and hats to cover they heads. But the generation after that? It wasn't as strict for us. By the time I was a teenager, that wasn't really upheld. As long as we was there, that's really what mattered.

TM: I see a lot of that in how you live now, freeing yourself from what don't matter as much, like initiation in traditional religions. Are you initiated?

KK: I'm initiated everyday. Every point in my life where I've faced the darkest parts, when I felt like I was coming to the end of everything and didn't know a way out, but the resilience, the persistence, and the faith that I had, I felt like those moments are all initiations. I feel like my first initiation, as I feel for all of us, is when we arrive here. My second initiation was when I was separated from my mother. My third was going through the trauma that I went through with my father. I don't see initiation as something that people can take you to and through. God is the ultimate initiator. I always think about Harriet [Tubman]. Ain't nobody was there initiating her. Ain't nobody could tell her what she could and could not do. Ain't nobody could tell her what her gifts were. Ain't nobody could tell her what she heard was not of God. Ain't nobody could tell her what she was doing could not free the people. So, my initiation is of that likeness. There was a time when I wanted to be initiated, when I thought I had to be. And it's not to say that my journey won't guide me there. I don't know, but I don't have a stronghold on it. And it don't have a stronghold on me. What Spirit told me specifically was, "No one has the power to touch your head or crown your head." What people give you, they can take away. But what God gave me, ain't nobody can take that away. What I worked for and earned, nobody can take that away. My relationship is personal.

TM: The spirit that you grew up encountering in church, is that the same spirit that you encounter today?

KK: Love that question. So I'll take you back. Giving honor and thanks to my first spiritual father, Elder Verdie Banner, who was my pastor. There was a sermon that he gave when I was a young girl. I got chills right now just thinking about it, because that changed my life. He talked about making a covenant with God. When you make a covenant with God, you can't go back on it. So when I was 13 and going through the molestation with my father, something reminded me of that sermon. At that time, I was between suicide or homicide. Something had to change, and I didn't know no other way. So it was two extremes and no remedy. Then I was reminded about covenants with God. I made one in exchange for me being removed from the trauma. A few days later, that prayer was answered. It was a whisper, but it broke through the darkness of me wanting to hurt my father and wanting to hurt myself.

Fast forward 10 years later, I'm at the crossroads. I'm 'bout to graduate high school, so my life is in transition and I started getting a warning: “You're going down a path of destruction. Everything you love, you're gonna lose if you don’t change the path you on.” I didn’t heed the warning, so things started happening. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna do right. So I'm in church every time it's open, front row with my [adopted] mama. I'm in the prayer line, every time it's open. I'm at the altar, every time it's an altar call. Every time I go to the prayer line, I'm wondering why spirit not hitting me. Now, mind you, at this time, I'm reading the Bible from the beginning. I'm not scripture hopping.

One day, I was about to go up for prayer. And I heard voice. It was louder than any other time that I heard it, but it was the same voice that told me about the path of destruction and reminded me of making a prayer in covenant. And right when I was about to go up for prayer, and it was like a grandmama: "Don'tchu let nobody touch yo' head. You can pray for yo'self." Well, what I'm supposed to do? I heard "go it alone." I'm like, but this is what I thought I was supposed to be doing. "Keep doing everything that you're doing, but do it by yourself." So I stopped going to church, but I kept my prayers and my reading up. Facebook became my ministry, where I would share my interpretations of the Bible. How I taught the Word is what resonated with people. Because I didn't talk over they head. I didn't talk like I was better or removed. Slowly, sisters started coming to me like, “Hey, I want to study with you.” That's how the women gatherings started. But yeah, what I hear now is the same as what I heard then, but I feel like now I am that voice. I'm not just listening to that voice. All along, that was like my highest self, my true self, that's been speaking to me, guiding me back to myself.

TM: After leaving the church and leaning into your personal practice, did you ever hide it?

KK: When we slowly begin to come into our spirituality, where it's like, I'm seeking truth and I want to do what resonates with me on a spiritual level, we hide. We hide it from our families because of not being accepted. My people? They know I don't care what nobody feels about what I have to say because I know it's the truth. I got tired of hiding and living by the script that I feel like people want me to live by. Tired of living in the shadows. So I just started taking all of that off. When we began to gather with the sisters and study the Bible, [the church] was coming for me. Now those same people love the work that I'm doing. They didn't understand. They still don't understand. But they see something. They see the power in it, the movement in it, the healing in it, but they're still separating what I'm doing from God. Not me.

TM: What do people come here for?

KK: They want to heal and they want the truth. And truth brings healing and healing brings truth. Some people, they'll be like, “I don't even know what I need. I just know what I needed to be here.” It's a calling. The space is home, a home for the soul. When they get here, whatever they carrying can fall. You don't have to be anybody when you come here. You ain't got to hold no image or wear a mask here. You can try, but it's gonna fall off. So when they get here, the truth of who they are is what they experience. And it's nothing but love that's present. Nothing but love. The love of the Great Mother, you know what I mean? They come for healing, for truth, for love, for... community. A community that people are traveling from all over the world to experience. They come here to die3 too. Another thing is clarity. I have an ability to make things very clear and providing understanding so they can make peace with whatever it is.

TM: When did you realize this was your calling?

KK: I realized it by the impact that I made on people. While I’m doing healing work, I’m watching people go from one face to another. Just being completely alleviated, completely light and transformed from the space they were in. Witnessing the evidence and how real it is, how deep it is, that’s what really gave me more realization that this is what I’m supposed to do. I got to witness the power of obedience.

TM: What are your offerings?

KK: Love, truth, death, rebirth, transformation, transmutation, reality.

TM: What are the vessels to those things?

KK: Letting go, allowing, surrendering, trusting.

TM: I heard you on the phone talking about Reiki and tarot. You feel like some of your services are simplifying?

KK: Yes! I don't even offer readings, because when I'm talking to you, I'm gon' read you. You gon' tell me everything. The other day when I was putting these cards together [points to packs of tarot cards on a shelf], I was like, anybody can come over here and pull a card on themselves and read themselves. You can use the book or not. You can look at the symbols on a card and interpret what you feel for yourself. But it's not rocket science. When you hug people, when we in church and we clapping our hands, we're Reiki'ing ourselves.

TM: That's sound therapy.

KK: All of that. It's breaking up energy. Also, when I am performing Reiki, I do it intuitively. No session is the same. A lot of times I’m in light language (tongues) being guided by someone’s distant and ancient ancestors. Allowing my body to be a vessel to receive and deposit vibrations of healing. We got to come back to the basics, before all of this stuff was created. Don't put power in these tangible items. And there was a time when I did. Ask me the last time I burned sage.

TM: When the last time you —

KK: — I don't know.

TM: That's what my book, Women Who Ain't Afraid, is all about, using what you already have to free yourself.

KK: My thing is, how much are you utilizing yourself as a source and resource? Or are you only, again, putting power into these external things? These are just tools, but you the main instrument. In order for a candle to be lit, you got to spark the fire. To light the sage, you got to spark the fire.

TM: Some people are scared to say you don't need these products, because it's their income.

KK: Retail went down and my lifestyle hasn't changed anything. If you want it, it's there. I can tell you the intentions that I put into it for you. I know it's a whole bunch of love in there for you. Especially with the scrubs, it makes you pause and praise yourself, love on yourself. That's what it's really about. Is it bringing it back to you?

TM: Tell me about Oshun4.

KK: I was reminded of Oshun because of you. When you said, "You remind me of Oshun," I thought you were talking about a person or some type of artist or something. I ain't even ask no questions, but it activated something. Because from that moment, it's like, Oshun began to just take over my life and show me I am you and you are me. I am you and you are me. My nickname was Honey. One of her favorite offerings, outside of money, is honey. She has multiple lovers and partners. That's me! And I used to think something was wrong with me because I love so many people at once, but I realized that's because I really truly am love and my love is medicine and it's not just for one person. And then I realized… Oshun! I been you and you been me. That’s when I accepted that nothing was wrong with me. This story existed before I even got here. This is just who I am. Oshun just wants to elevate, to be her best, to learn. Then, out of all Orishas, she was able to do what nobody else could do and save humanity. She sacrificed her beauty and burnt herself up to save humanity. She was the only one that could reach the most high, Oludumare. Nobody else could do it. The blessings and abundance of Oshun is always here. The healing, the love, the sweetness, the beauty, but also don't get it twisted because she's a warrior too.

TM: Why are these Adinkra symbols on the wall?

KK: First and foremost, Sankofa. I got the tattoo on my ankle of Sankofa before I knew what it was. And before Sankofa House came, I channeled the symbol on somebody's back porch while allowing myself to be a vessel for the ancestors to speak through. Then Sankofa House came. So the importance of the symbols is to witness the vibration that was created by our people. Just looking at the images alone can provide you with movement and remind us of what is truly there. So sometimes I just tell people to come over here and see what stands out to you, what speaks to you, to bring them here and make them be present.

TM: In these days of constantly being bombarded with screens, to stand here and look at these ancient symbols that are still all over the world, the diaspora…

KK: And you can see where a lot of symbols that are so popular, even expensive, got they inspiration from. The Sankofa symbol goes back to Kemet5, with the heart.

TM: You lived in Greenbriar6 for a while. That reminds me of my time in youth detention centers. That was a pivotal moment in my life, my first time really seeing that we're different but more similar and we all suffering. And being together and sharing our story is healing.

KK: You just took me back. That space with those young sisters sitting in our bed, in that room together, talking about all the things that we experienced, was my first Sister Circle. I was only there for just a couple of weeks, but I had the best time. Everything I put on my Christmas list, I got it. The lady in the kitchen that cooked the food called me SugarFoot. It was a beautiful experience. It softened my heart.

TM: You have Sister Circles, but Sankofa House isn’t just open to women.

KK: Men, young men, children, babies, elders, everybody, anybody. All walks of life: Ifa, Christian, Muslim, Rastafarian, Nation of Islam, I work with everybody. At the end of the day, we all a vessel. So you can take off the badges, you can take off the titles, you can take off the elekes7. You can take off all of that, and there's still your vessel. That's who I'm talking to. I'm not talking to your title, you know, and you're not talking to my title, either. We're having a soul to soul conversation. And a soul to soul conversation don't include the rewards, the awards, certifications, diploma.

If anything is my religion, it's Sankofa because it includes all of the religions, all of the systems of thought and belief and practice. It's taking all of that back because all of that is ours. I see Sankofa as, like, that tree of life for all of that. When I got to the Sankofa House in 2017, when we were on 40th Street, it had the Sankofa symbol on the front and the back door, that's what made me call it Sankofa. And while I was sitting on the back porch one day with two sisters, I was like what are we doing in this space? What is it for? Then I immediately said, it's for the heart. I talked about the hardness and the coldness that our hearts are now in. I walked up front and told an older man across the street what we were going to be doing with the house. He was like “And?!" He was just so nasty. I was like, “[Gasp] Why is he being like that?” But that was evidence for why a space like Sankofa House was needed. That became an immediate assignment.

TM: You're also an artist. You did hair, makeup and nails. You'll also hop on a beat.

KK: I put the healer to the front and I put the artist to the back, but I want to bring more of that artist out and really show more sides of myself and what I've been given.

TM: Why?

KK: Because it's for me, and it feels good. For me to get to where I am now, it took the writer, the poet, the lyricist. That was my voice before this voice, you know? When I couldn't speak, when I couldn't say my truth, that was how I did it.

TM: Does Spirit needs to be present in our art? Is it one in the same?

KK: I always go back to when I went to Zen and Kush, a space curated by Lizzy Jeff. Everybody's wearing lingerie. And my Miss Honey days was my lingerie days. So going into her space, I was in my white lace. But I'm like, all of this is me. Yes, I'm sexy. I'm sensual. I'm beautiful. I ain't got no shame. Another session she did, I wore red lace lingerie with my cowrie shells that I wear for healing ceremonies, because it's all one. It's no separation. It's just allowing yourself to embrace all sides. You don't have to do that every day, but allow yourself to delight in all sides because you don't want no side of you to be repressed or oppressed. That's the art of freedom and that is the artist. You just gotta let it all be. That's what freedom is. It's just allowing all of you to express.

TM: What do you know for sure?

KK: What I know for sure is that I was sent here. I have

a purpose, a beautiful and powerful purpose. Every life that I encounter, I know that I impact in some type of way. I know that I am safe, guided, protected. I know that I am loved beyond the ability of human capacity. I know that I'm grateful for everything that has been, everything that is now, and everything that will be. I don't question the provisions and the providing of what is needed as I continue forward. I know it's already done. I know that I have all of the support that I need right now, and I know that it is not done. I know that it is ever unfolding, ever expanding, and it is absolutely okay to trust the unfolding of everything. I know that every encounter and relationship has a purpose, and I honor that in whatever capacity that I can, even if I don't understand it until after it's done. I know that life is an opportunity, a privilege, a short privilege and a long privilege, depending how we view it. I'm always free. Even when I feel confined by the pressures and realities and illusions of this life, I know that I am always free. I am passing through. I know that I'm absolutely okay with passing through and making the best of each moment as I can, finding the joy in each moment, the medicine in each moment, the love in each moment.

TM: “My life is not full of days, it's full of moments." Toni Jones said that.

KK: A whole lot of moments that I refer to as book marks. I can always go back to them. They're monuments.

TM: Even the ones we don't remember.

KK: Even the ones we don't remember, they played a role in where we arrive to in ourselves every single day. That's why I always arrive to gratitude with everything. I don't have a complaint with anything that has been done. I can fully overstand why each role is what each role is. It all serves something bigger. The medicine for me is just always being present and grateful for the simple. That's what keeps it light. That's what keeps me in a place of not needing anything. If my time was now to exit, I would exit light and not heavy, you know? And just the fullness of gratitude, with everything and without everything at the same time. That's what makes me free.

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